I am a Realtor. I am a Therapist.

They were moving to Denver from somewhere else. It doesn’t matter where – just someplace with bigger lots and lower prices. They were a good looking young couple. He was kinda serious and she was bubbly with enthusiasm. They had three kids, a dog … and a problem.

He said: “We want a house in the country – lots of land for the kids and privacy for me.”

She said: “We want to be near the city – nice convenient commute and close to shopping.”

He said: “How about at least two acres in the metro area?

She said: “That sounds perfect!”

I said: “We better triple your price range!”

Well, the price range was not going anywhere. But we were. He prevailed and so we piled into my mobile office (that’s what I call my car – I like to think it helps my wife stomach my taste in fine autos if I remind her it’s my office – I don’t think it really works) and headed southeast.

If you want acreage on the south side of metro Denver and your price range is $200,000 max you head southeast … go a little farther … now a little farther still … can you see Elizabeth? Do I have a Kiowa anyone? Elbert? Yes, that’s the ticket.

So we headed out. South on I-25 to Castle Rock. Then east on 86 toward Elizabeth. The clock was ticking. The odometer was spinning.

He said: “Wow, this is going to be a long commute to my Tech Center office.”

She didn’t say anything, just stared with a dropped jaw at the country, the horses, the tractors. Then she said: “Now, where did you say the mall is?”

A few barns and several county road intersections later he was still into it. She lost it three equestrian centers ago. He wanted to keep going – at least look at some properties out there. She told him no. Actually she told him: “NOOOOOOO!” Their conversation got a little heated. OK, they were yelling at each other. I let them go at it for a bit, then pulled the mobile office to the side of the road.

We discussed how finding a house that works for all the family members is conducive to a long, happy marriage. They agreed. We flipped an illegal U-turn and headed back. They canoodled in the back seat the whole way. We found a house in the suburbs with a larger-than-normal lot. The kids have room to run. It’s an easy commute for him. Oh yeah … it’s close to the mall.